hi blog. happy sunday! today was nice because the interartists were invited to Holly’s new house for brunch! It was so lovely to get in-depth, undivided attention and critique. I felt that the call your mom folks were well prepared with new written work and video to show. The group told us to work out the connection between the two pieces--power play video and the poem, which we might call milk and wine/whine:

 

I like to show people things.

Temper tantrum, gasp, press chest, tamp it down.

Shy in public, young me tells her parents, 

“No, we don’t need to go, you just really want to.”

I’m telling my mom!

Obligations before I learn what

obligation is.

 

I create a tribe, of which I am the chief.

And this is your fault, but you can call it mine

if it keeps you from time out.

(I cannot hear you tell me I am embarrassing myself)

Dust falling through the air we watch

until we get hungry.

Chin pressed against knees, hands clenched around shins.

Winding up the young, tight as can be,

the other children disappoint me.

I tell my dad, “They aren’t ready for freedom.”

No to getting in trouble, tags in clothing,

Yes to spying on mom, finding something to do,

back when waiting was a game.

 

Next day,

play with dirt, play dress up, clothed in mostly sweaters

to thaw December.

Or a warm shared bath to follow a cold shared day,

Or the corner of the stairs with you, quiet waiting,

I splash and feel good

to thaw December.

Solving things that cannot be solved.

Back downstairs to drink wine, 

discuss adult things, thaw December.

I

Don’t

Want

You

To

Have

Fun.

Stockpiling imaginings for years to come.

 

Next day, 

we play college girls.

Bossy and also romantic,

Remember how important birthstones were?

Laughter, but it’s not mean,

it’s just that being a parent feels absurd sometimes.

Mom hates the mean, tall girl and the bits of her that leak into me.

Why don’t we scream anymore?

Now, when I get a rash, I cover it with cream.

A child cries for the cat,

grieving the safe play we miss to good behavior.

Loss at the end of an era,

embarrassment at whatever the grown ups must be thinking.

I never sleep better than I do after a tantrum.

It was inspiring to show a long, polished piece and hear people’s gut reactions to it. I was also really impressed by Zach and Erica’s work. They seem to be thinking about big ideas and making a lot. I was frustrated with myself and my making capabilities all week, so it was awesome to get something substantial done on saturday and get some positive and constructive feedback the very next day. This week, I want to polish the video (which by the way, I’ve been working at tirelessly and eagerly all day), 

meet with Jamie the librarian to research nest related things, work on a live and funny piece for Isaac’s show on November 4th, 

keep editing my proposal, 

thinking about the WHY of this project, 

add spaced out, impactful audio to the showcase piece that isn’t distracting,

apply for more grants, 

think more about other artists,

etc. etc. etc.

so much to do!