I’M HELPING ME HELP MYSELF (instead of eating ice cream about it)

playing house, compartmentalizing without walls…. how? with tape on the floors? with yarn? soft walls… what is the difference between a soft wall and a concrete, sound proof one? the ability to block, the ability to listen. FAKE WALLS, WALLS THAT WE CREATE WITH OUR HEADS. you can be sexual when the walls are sound proof and concrete, but if your boundaries are too soft you are bound to get uncomfortable or even get hurt. consensual boundaries make relationships as strong as concrete walls.

what are things about a home that are hard to have outside of a house? is shelter necessary? what does it protect us from? as families? as individuals? when does shelter stay safe, when does it blindside or "shelter"? when does it become dangerous? 

the smell, the lights on lamps off, the celebration as distraction, the pretending everything okay, the inevitable conflict, the expectations, the repetition, the familiarity, the birthdays, the missing the way things never were. 

FAMILIARITY (I love this word).

call your mom is not a family. call your mom is a FAMILIARITY.

how do we get the audience to build these walls for themselves?

what separates one family from another? tradition, appearance, dysfunction, inside information, bricks and mortar, money, history, knowledge, new life (babies), death, remembrance


GALLERY SHOW - playing house

what are things that all families have? 

what are things that we assume families have?

what do our families have? 

what don’t our families have?

the 910 sunset road house as an in progress incubator where the stuff gets made, inspiration, compartmentalization, privacy/ownership

we are people in between adulthood and something else. there are so many compartments of life once you get passed puberty, but they make it take a long time until you get to be a dult. I don’t know who they are but I’m sure they do it on purpose. am I gonna become a dult soon? am I gonna like it?

and it’s all forced into a chronology and then forced upon us without our consent. we have know choice about that order. I used to write “oh how I wish I’d experienced everything in a different order” all over my notebooks. but nooooo. and then, i assume, we become adults some day and then we say “what the fuck how did that happen? I didn’t ask for this, but now it’s almost over and have I made the most of it? and I should keep going, right? why give up now?” 


interviews, oral histories of family, personal is political, history, quilt

playing house - us acting like a family in the house in comparison with the way the family acted in the house

postcards, quilt, entrance, bathroom, refrigerator 

nest and closet





politics ARE or ARE NOT political?

we aren’t sure any more


family IS familiar

order IS chaos

congregation is comfort

collaboration is conflict

collaboration is comfort because collaboration is conflict because conflict is family because collaboration is familiarity because familiarity is music because music comes from congregation

every perspective matters

listening is difficult

people die and we are left with permanent voids of perspective

trust comes out of desperation and need to solidify truth

speak with your life



live performance - powerplay, family makers, socks, arm knitting/nest, bath, dinner

feeding food, early bird gets the worm, you don’t have conscious control over your taste or your taste buds until they are almost all the way decided upon everything

collaborative knitting, collaborative women, collaborative family, collaborative dad jokes, collaborative mourning, collaborative navigating, collaborative fighting?

what isn’t collaborative again? why isn't stuff allowed to be this way within the institution? oh, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, right. because we're all alone and that's just how it is. NO IT ISN'T!!!!! no it isn't. every body has some body. every body has a body and a body can be taken away and the somebodies don't always stay, but that doesn't mean there won't be more where that came from. no. it. isn't. 'til death do us all apart. okay? 

there isn’t enough time to have all the conversations and really miscommunication is the thing that scares people out of speaking, so miscommunication and the fear of miscommunication perpetuate miscommunication.


SPEAK WITH YOUR LIFE!!!! I'M MY OWN BABY!!!!!! AND I'M MY MOM'S BABY! WHICH MEANS I'M MY OWN MOM TOO! AND MY MOM IS HER OWN BABY. AND MY MOM IS MY MOM AND SHE'S ALSO HER MOM AND HER MOM IS MY MOM AND WE'RE EACH OTHER'S MOM'S AND WE'RE MOMMING EACH OTHER? is that triggering or exciting or both? oh baby. it's the stereotypically feminine that's of interest here. it's that we want to care for one another, but we got all fucked up on expectation.